I thought you already finished, bitch. The tall whore (who we shall refer to as Jake) sounded like she was gonna vacuum after showering.

It's alright, we'll suck up the dirt ourselves. Everything's attracted to us anyway so it won't be too difficult. OH SCHNAP.
-That would've made more sense if I was talking about a magnet and not a vacuum.


Roses are red.
Vacuums are turquoise.
Oh goddamn, what the hell rhymes with turquoise?

You meet many dears throughout life. Some that you have laugh at all the time. Some that you wanna smack a lot of the time. Some that you want to throw colored bricks at. And even some that take the vacuum back before you can actually vacuum.

My dear are all of these combined. How lucky am I!

You meet a lot of bitches in life. Some of them become acquaintances. Others may be a friend for a few years. 

But if you're lucky enough, you’ll meet a few on the way who’ll always stay by your side. What’s my relationship with my bitch? 

I give her the vacuum. 

I take my last post back, actually. Bitch tossed away the ring I gave her like it was a piece of string.


What she doesn't know is...I think I'm pregnant.

Lonely without her :(

But I'm glad that we're not in the same lab. Our chemistry's so great, even bunsen burners spark when we're together.

LAWLZ OUR LOVE'S A HAZARD <3

Damn, I'm poetic. Edgar Poe (Or Eddie, as I liked to call him) has nothing on this bitch.

You're the starlight to my night. The sunlight to my day. The microphone to Joc's toe. And your emptiness in life causes woe.

Missing my boo already :(

YES! BITCH MADE IT IN!

Bitch is unloading her urine holder. GOD, YOU'RE ADORABLE.

Met up with my bitch. LOVE HER <3 LOLZ